Happy ending?
My heart was broken yesterday. I found out my contract won’t be renewed
next year, which means I’m being ‘fired’. I guess I didn’t
really expect it but then again, I kinda knew. But still, it came as a shock coz I was
just joking with my boss and found out. I was speechless. I was literally stunned.
A tear almost escaped but I just quietly busied myself without talking to
anyone. About an hour later, my boss asked if I was ok and he explained the
situation and said many nice things which was really sweet and comforting but it
made me want to cry more so I just continued doing my work and did not look at
him. Haha. I know it’s a bit rude but if I looked at him, I would have cried ok
and that won’t be cool!
I can’t say I’m over it yet. It still hurts. Why you may ask. It’s all
part of life I know. But somehow, I feel betrayed. It’s kinda stupid but I dunno.
I just didn’t expect it after all that I’ve been doing and all the things they
been saying. I dreaded going to work this morning coz in a way I feel like I’m
just passing time. I’m just there to finish my time and that’s it. Working there
became meaningless to me. I’m just being emo la but I didn’t think I’d take it
this hard. When I laid in bed last night, it all sank in and I cried a bit. Andrew,
being the good bf, said all the ‘right’ things but you know, it’s not as easy
as u think it is. Going to work for the next 6 months but knowing all the
things u do now won’t mean anything anyway.
And so, I went to work today with a brave face like nothing has
happened. Mind you, none of my colleagues know this. I guess they will find out
a month before or something. Or maybe at the Christmas dinner. Ya. Great. Anyway,
I think I was a bit slacked at work today, and I think my boss noticed but
chose to ignore it. Sigh.
It’s all part of life. Yes. Thanks. I know.
So, back to the gruelling life of an unemployed again soon? All my
nightmares from job hunting 2 years ago are haunting me again. I dread the next
few months of applying for jobs and all the rejections. The thought of going to
a whole new place, starting ALL over, getting to work with new people scares
me. What if they hate me? What if I don’t get along with my new colleagues? What
if I can’t fit in?? What if I don’t like
it??? What iffff????? God help me 
Maybe it’s time to move on? Maybe it’s time for a change? Maybe I need
new challenges? Maybe I need to learn new things? Maybe I’ve become too complacent?
Maybe God
wants me to start trusting Him again???
Maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll find my perfect job, get rich, and live
happily ever after.
No, no. I will. Soon, I WILL find my perfect job, get $rich$, get
married, buy my big dream house, have my many little kids, and live happily
ever after. Ya. I will 
For now, it’s all in God’s hands. All I have to do is trust Him.
He provided for me the best job
the last time, I know He
will again.
Yes.
TRUST | 
